Marcus, you’ve a lot to live up too:

The ‘Marsha Commitae’  are absolutely riveted to propose the following 12-step plan for the bride for her Wedding Day. We are open to ideas and other options so please feel free to let us know your views (savageweddingsinc at gmail.com). These are purely the views of the Commitae and hence the bride has no say in the matter:

1) The bride will get her hair and makeup done to a professional chav level

2) She will then slip into something more comfortable – like her Wedding Dress. Its the one she’s always wanted.

3) The lovely bridesmaids will get ready…so shiny that magpies might try to steal them.

4) Then she will drink champers and congratulate herself for a job well done…so far.

5) Once a sufficient amount of champers is drank, the bride will make her way to the church.

6) Doesn’t the church look lovely. Chavesque or what??

7) Once the nuptials are complete, the wedding pics will be taken.

The bride will make her way to the Wedding Reception, based losely on a fine Hollyoaks/Jordan wedding. Mmm.

9) Once dinner is finished, the couple will cut their beautiful wedding cake.

10) The full and happy couple will enjoy their first dance (watch out for First Dance competition coming soon)

11) Before everyone gets down and dirty with the evenings music-fest

12) At the end of the evening it will all become too much for little Achi, when the magnitude of the event sets in.

‘The Marsha Commitae’ are very proud to announce another special sponsorship deal. This deal has taken some months to broker and we have had to keep it under unbelievable wraps – until now.

Yes, Priests ‘R’ Us have teamed up with ‘The Commitae’ to offer exclusive deals to all going to the Marsha Wedding. Simply take the special communion on the day and produce at any Priests ‘R’ Us outlet to redeem offers such as:

• Half Price Weddings
• Your choice of clerical staff from the exclusive catalogue for all occasions
• Special rates on the 1800-Priests-RUS hotline for advice on Communion and Confirmation matters
• Discount ‘Stations’ in YOUR house
• Sign up for monthly updates to be advised off upcoming Masses and Missions.

Commitae Morketing Manager, Nicole Walsh, spoke earlier on this great new deal. “This has been an avenue we have been looking at for some time and finally getting such an exciting sponsor on board has obviously given us all a lift.” She continued, “we cannot wait to start working closely with Priests ‘R’ Us”.

Fr. Theodore McMurky, Priests ‘R’ Us spokesperson was visibly delighted to be hooking up with such an existential outfit. “Lordy, Lordy, this is a great deal for us. To have the chance to work with people of such a high moral calibre as the Marsha Wedding will be great, please God”.

More details will be available on the exclusive offers soon.

Not content with causing enormous pain and suffering in making us think we were going to have to go to Italy for a wedding, Marsha have decided – in their infinite wisdom – to change both the date and the venue for their wedding.

Full details have not been disclosed but the wedding is believed to be held in a very suitable, distinct venue in Castleblaney.

Members of the Marsha commitae have not been fully informed but we believe the venue to be here.

Full details to be posted here SOON..its all just dericulous.

Marsha Commitae member and all round morketing guru Nicole has brought this little gem to our attention:

So there I am trawling the wide web of shoes in drooling innocence when all of a sudden I see them. The colour rises in my cheeks as my blood vessels start to pump in panic and a hot flush sweeps my body.

How can we go now? Everyone will be wearing these and there we’ll be, soon to be Achison and I sporting our bog standard apparel minus the prerequisite height necessary for pulling of the skinny jeans look.

HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET A PAIR OF WEDGE WELLIES BETWEEN NOW AND FRIDAY TO LOOK COOL (and most importantly under 30) FOR ELECTRIC PICNIC?

Well the truth is we’re not but any website that has the foresight to introduce wedge wellies for all of us vertically challenged women gets my vote and is worth book-marking for when the pursuit of the perfect pair of wedding shoes begins.

In the interest of fairness I am obliged to say ‘May the best shoe win’ however be prepared to be stomped on on the day!!!!!!

Visit www.Shoe-shop.com for your fix.

So there you have it. Perfect for traversing the notorious Italian gravel but that may result in marks reduction by the judges.

‘The Marsha Commitae’ are proud to announce the successful completion of a deal with Theresa & Feilim’s Salon in Ballyhaunis for part-sponsorship of the Marsha Wedding.

Commitae member Nicole Walsh has been working tirelessly, day and night, behind the scenes to secure this lucrative deal with such a coveted partner.

Speaking earlier Nicole stated that “..this will be a very beneficial deal for both sides. For the Marsha members bridal deals have been agreed at very competitive prices. For the Salon, it will raise their profile in Ireland for being involved in such a high profile wedding”.

Speaking on behalf of the Salon, Feilim O’Hara said “it was a great day for the salon”. He went on to say “blue-rinse specials will be available on or before the wedding day as well as pudding bowls for the lads – to really stand out on the special day!”.

To give an idea of why the particular Salon was chosen you only need to look at their celebrity clientele: Con Houlihan, Sinead O’Connor (when she was bald) and ‘Detective Myles Byrne’ from “Fair City”.

Theresa & Feilim will be operating in Italy on the wedding day and bookings can be made through Savage Weddings Inc.

Theresa and Feilim's Salon

In order to help you sing along to Ode to Ginger, here’s another famous red-head singing ‘Yellow’.

Simply press play to load and scroll down and sing along…